faith-failover.yml
Divine DevOps
faith-failover.yml | Divine DevOps
A parody universe blending humor, tech, religious themes and lore with DevOps culture.
faith-failover.yml
name: Faith Failover Protocol
on:
workflow_dispatch:
schedule:
- cron: '0 0 * * 0' # Weekly divine check
issues:
types: [opened, labeled]
jobs:
contain:
name: Immediate Containment
runs-on: ethereal-k8s
steps:
- name: Redirect Non-Urgent Prayers
run: |
echo "Redirecting all non-urgent prayers to Deferred Miracles Processing (miracle-backlog.md)"
faithctl reroute --priority=low --target=miracle-backlog
mitigate:
name: Mitigation
needs: contain
runs-on: ethereal-k8s
steps:
- name: Scale Ethereal Kubernetes Pods
run: |
echo "Spinning up additional pods for priority interventions"
kubectl scale deployment/prayer-processing --replicas=144
resolve:
name: Resolution
needs: mitigate
runs-on: ethereal-k8s
steps:
- name: Adjust Miracle Prioritization Algorithms
run: |
echo "Optimizing miracle request prioritization to prevent overcommitment"
faithctl optimize --blessing=unique
postmortem:
name: Postmortem & Logging
needs: resolve
runs-on: ethereal-k8s
steps:
- name: Log Actions for Metatron's Incident Board
run: |
echo "Logging all actions for postmortem review"
faithctl log --incident=faith-failover
- name: Reference Miracle Backlog
run: |
echo "See also: miracle-backlog.md"
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