# jonah.Dockerfile — Containerized Prophetic Correction
FROM rebellion:latest
LABEL maintainer="godmode@heaven.internal"
LABEL purpose="Reluctant prophecy delivery mechanism"
ENV DESTINATION=nineveh-prod
ENV OBEDIENCE=false
ENV RUNTIME=3d
ENV PRAYER_RETRIES=unlimited
# Prophetic script (resists deployment)
COPY jonah.sh /usr/src/app/
RUN chmod +x /usr/src/app/jonah.sh
CMD ["/usr/src/app/jonah.sh"]
Container Logs
[INFO] Jonah initialized.
[WARN] Attempting to route to tarshish-dev...
[ERROR] EJECTED_OVERBOARD: jonah.service overboard at port 404
[INFO] WhaleContainer acquired rogue service
[INFO] Entering timeout loop: 3 cycles
[INTROSPECTION]
> "Maybe I should’ve just deployed..."
> "Do whales have internal logging?"
[INFO] Restarting jonah.service with repentance flag
[INFO] Redeploying to DESTINATION=nineveh-prod
[SUCCESS] Deployment accepted. Prophecy delivered.
Note: Container was removed after 3 days. Graceful exit.
Slack thread
Channel: #prophecy-deployments
GOD
09:00
Jonah, deploy to nineveh-prod now.
Jonah
09:05
uhhhhh… can’t. They’re not gonna listen. Low uptime. No observability.
GOD
09:10
Not a suggestion.
Jonah
09:15
rerouting to tarshish-dev…
SYSTEM
09:20
jonah.service overboard @ port 404
WhaleContainer
09:25
Acquired. Running introspection scripts.
Jonah
12:00
stuck in this container 3 days now… reevaluating life choices.
SYSTEM
12:05
restart jonah.service –target nineveh-prod
Jonah
12:10
Okay okay, I’m deploying. Geez.