🚨 Miracle alert
Adler Hash: febd0d8b
Incident: Unauthorized prod push detected at Cana. Immediate review required.
Incident Report — Cana Event Cluster
Event ID: MIR-001-CANA
Environment: Production Banquet
User: Jesus of Nazareth
Command Issued: transform --input=water --output=wine
System Logs
[INFO] beverage.node[6]: liquid_type = "water"
[INFO] miracle.patch initiated by user Jesus
[INFO] beverage.node[6]: liquid_type = "wine:vintage_best"
[WARN] No deployment pipeline detected
[INFO] Guests: satisfied
Postmortem: Uriel-404 Commentary
“Unverified builds in prod usually trigger alarms.
No commits, no rollout, no QA.
Still… wine passed every unit test. Might be worth backporting.”
Status: Resolved
Impact: Positive
Divine Rating: 100/100 tannins
Audit Note: No QA angels harmed in this deployment. Compliance review: N/A.
Lesson: Sometimes the best releases are unplanned.